Number Three
I'm late, I'm sorry, I saw a flock of wild flamingos and one loose horse and completely lost track of time.
Biz
UK TOUR IS DONE! Well done UK/Ireland. You were so so so nice to me. London show technical difficulties were somehow an absolute highlight of my life. Watch below part one. Will post more this week!
I am coming back to MELBOURNE ARTS CENTRE to do REFORM. She’s a totally different (much better) beast since the UK tour and tickets are moving fast so do jump on that and come along. Tickets here.
I am in Adelaide for Cabaret Festival this weekend with my manic variety night Comedians On Stage Auditioning for Musicals. I co-host with Ben Russell and Gillian Cosgriff plays our ever suffering MD. We have the best time doing this show - I am so proud of it but I also unfortunately believe it is completely sold out.
Always and forever pre-order my book and oh! You can buy the album on Bandcamp now if you prefer not to support Spotify etc.
On hospitality and talking to strangers.
I’m not going to lie to you, I went on a holiday. Don’t be mad at me, I promise you, I thought about work heaps. At the wrap up of my UK tour I went to Montpellier for 3 perfect days. Montpellier is in the south of France. It’s walkable, pedestrianised streets look like the best of Paris and Rome but it’s clean and full of friendly people, connected by tramlines and surrounded by Flamingos.
Open second tab - Flamingos are a real animal. Here is a list of animals I didn’t know were real until very recently:
Puffins, dodos, narwhals. I found out about bats when I was 18 but now I see them every day. Not in a cursed way, just in a living in the bat’s flightpath way. Love those girls. They fly so good!
I also realised that I had the size wrong of a lot of animals including:
Moose (very big), octopus (surprisingly small), salmon (not the size that the fish and chip shop would have you believe)
close second tab.
I am not going to write a little essay, I am jetlagged and sick so I am simply going to tell you about my holiday. I had the most perfect and beautiful time because I love talking to strangers and everyone in Montpellier was unreasonably friendly and helpful. Like Newcastle in the UK but French. I went on this jaunt with my partner Tim and my very good friend/favourite chef, Katie. We arrived with minimal fuss. I can’t remember the flight because my body has made the choice to block airports and planes out for my own good but it must have been fine (or perhaps the valium worked) because we got there safe and on time. We headed to the accom, met our serial-killer-vibes-but -potentially-just-French hosts and dropped our bags for a day in Montpellier.
I googled best coffee in Montpellier because I am FROM MELBOURNE and we joined the long line to wait for a table at Coldrip Coffee. I hate lining up for things but this was so worth it you guys. It was in this beautiful open street and everybody was kissing on both cheeks which I LOVE. The owner/manager was so kind to us and gave us a list of places to try in town. After a perfect brunch and accidentally running into the Arch De Triumph we headed to market to grab snacks and wine for our nightly viewing of Naked Attraction. We had a bunch of items so we let the man behind us go first. He was so grateful but only spoke French and also was deaf so with two language barriers between us we managed to find out that he was applying for a US visa to be with his son who is over there in the army. He showed us photos of him and his son and then mimed to us that he used to be in the airforce. I’ve never seen such a happy man. He was hugging us and telling us stories about his family even though I cannot explain to you how little French I know and how little English he knew but between the three of us we had some sign language and we had some expressive faces and drama school training. He hugged us all goodbye and then produced an ice cream each for us. I don’t know that he gets to talk to many people. I hope we made him happy because he made my absolute day.
The next night we went to a restaurant recommended by the cafe man and immediately the waitress complimented my high heel crocs (important). After our meal another waiter brought over 4 shots. 3 for us, 1 for him. Shots of what you ask? I don’t know, I am not a scientist! When I went in to pay for the meal the owner got so excited that I was Australian and brought over the bottle of secret olivey spicey alcohol. He tried to tell me a story about Australia but his English was the same as my French (Not very bon, no offence) so we played charrades and talked in broken words until we figured out the puzzle together and every time we arrived at the correct word, mother in law, mining town, family, he banged the counter and poured us another shot. After 20 minutes I understood this was a family business. His wife was the chef, he was the owner, his son, the waiter and his daughter in law, the croc enthusiast. I couldn’t figure out what Australia had to do with it until at the evenings crescendo he remembered and shouted Red Dog! He mimed crying and repeated Red Dog happily to me pouring four more celebratory shots. The story he was trying to tell me was the plot of the movie Red Dog. Perfect. Just perfect.
I wanted to write something beautifully put together about the value of hospitality and kindness and just people being warm to each other and helpful but I just wrote a series of events because of jetlag and that’s on honesty.
Hot Recs
Sticky Pig Catering is my friend Katie’s business. If you have an event in the UK that needs food, you gotta get this girl (if she can fit you in). She’s the best chef I have ever come across and I lived with her on and off through this whole tour so I am OBSESSED with her food. Plus Phoebe Waller-Bridge called her ‘this generation’s Nigella’. And it’s true. Because she cooks like a demon and she looks like this -
New Doctor Who - you gotta watch it guys. You can start from this season if you want. It is pumping out episodes that feel like Tennant era Who. I feel nostalgic for these episodes as they come out. It’s gay and colourful and silly and perfect.
Fangirls London Oh my giddy aunty London you are so lucky. The best Australian musical is opening next month! It’s written by Yve Blake my friend and also a genius who I am extremely impressed by always. It’s a show that really pushes the limits of what we think about teenage girls and the music absolutely slaps. Also the choreography is SO GOOD. I can’t tell you what it’s about because nobody told me and when I first saw it at the fall of the curtain of act one my jaw hit the FLOOR. It has twists and turns and high belts and high kicks. CAMP CAMP CAMP!
Edinburgh Fringe Recs round one -
Some of my absolute favourites are coming to Edinburgh for the first time ever this year. You must book ahead. They will be the absolute hot tickets of the festival I promise you. These are my friends, my colleagues, my brothers and sisters, my lovers, my local priests etc.
Hot Department sketch comedy for fans of Patti Harrison, Aunty Donna, Stamptown, Sam Campbell. These guys are the real deal.
Alex Hines - Honestly same audience as above. A lot of theatre nerds will love her too. This is a character she does called slug girl, a slug who is a budding comedian. Her show is so high camp and high production. It’s the olympics.
For those of you who miss Double Denim at the fringe! These two girls are high energy musical theatre comedy ratbags. My favourite song of theirs is ‘Babies are cancelled’ but my favourite clip of them and my most watched video is this -
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More edinburgh fringe recs to come but for now, a little nap. Bye, love you!